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Writer's pictureSharee Allen, LMFT

Therapy Processes and Defense Mechanisms: Why You May Feel Worse Before Feeling Better


If you leave a therapy session feeling worse than when you came in, it may be tempting to think that you should give up on treatment. This is a rash response. The post-session negative feeling is sometimes known as a "therapy hangover." It's relatively common, and usually gets better with time.

Talking about your challenging symptoms, relationship problems, or traumatic events from your past can be difficult. This is especially true if:

  • Therapy (or processing feelings in general) is new for you

  • You’re talking about a triggering memory, such as trauma

  • You’re exploring topics that you’ve been avoiding or suppressing

  • Much of what you're hoping to change is beyond your control (i.e. someone else)


There may be a situation in which a lot of time has passed, and you are still regularly experiencing these negative after-effects. In this case, be sure to discuss that with your therapist. If you don't feel they are hearing your concerns and helping you to address them, it may be time to ask for a referral to a new therapist. Sometimes two personalities aren't a great match, or a symptom may be out of a therapist's scope of experience, but this does not mean that therapy isn't for you.


Following a tough therapy session, it's crucial to check in with yourself. Be especially gentle with your self-talk, and pay attention to what your body needs. Your brain requires time to integrate the hard topics you and your therapist explored, so practicing some additional self-care during this time will help. It can be useful to talk with your therapist about ways to manage emotional triggers, such as

  • Journal or draw

  • Get enough sleep

  • Make or listen to music

  • Stretch or move your body

  • Cook and eat a nourishing meal

  • Try grounding, using all five senses

  • Practice deep breathing or body scans

  • Meet up with a friend or acquaintance

  • Take a hot shower or bubble bath

  • Watch a funny video or movie


If it's on the right trajectory, therapy will help you expand your ability to identify your own emotions. This is especially true if you tend to engage in thinking errors, such as all-or-nothing thinking, projection, emotional reasoning, or catastrophizing. It is important to remember that therapy is not a place to shame you for having these defenses: they developed as a survival tactic when you most needed them. A good therapist can help you deconstruct those thinking errors, lead with more flexibility and openness, and be honest with yourself about the occasions when these defenses are now hurting you more than they are helping.

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